Advertisements
After 40 years as a marriage and family counselor, psychotherapist Jed Diamond claims to have discovered what makes a relationship real and lasting. According to Jed, it's necessary to overcome the "5 Stages of Love," which consist of falling in love, becoming a couple, heartbreak, creating real and lasting love, and using the power of two to change the world.
For Jed, many marriages end, and people can't understand the reasons, believing they chose the wrong partners. However, according to him, couples are looking for love in the wrong place. According to the psychotherapist, Phase 3—disillusionment—shouldn't be the end, but rather the true beginning, as it allows for what he believes to be true and lasting love.
Advertisements
Below, check out a breakdown of the stages of love.
Phase 1: Falling in love
According to Jed, this phase is wonderful, as the body is flooded with hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen. At this time, all hopes and dreams are projected onto the other person, and there's a belief that all the unfulfilled promises from previous relationships will finally come true.
Advertisements
Phase 2: Becoming a couple
After falling in love, people take the next step, where love deepens, and then they unite through marriage. This moment of living together is welcomed with joy and represents unity. It is then that they learn what the other person likes and begin to develop a life together.
This phase also provides a deeper connection with the loved one, as well as security and protection. It's common to think that love is at its peak and to hope that it will remain that way forever.
Phase 3: Disillusionment
This stage will determine whether to end or strengthen the relationship. According to Jed, small things start to cause discomfort and feelings of being less loved and cared for. Sometimes, someone may feel trapped and become irritable.
At this point, feelings begin to be questioned and the relationship weakens, resulting from the feeling that you no longer know the person by your side.
Phase 4: Creating Real, Lasting Love
When facing phase 3, according to Jed, one of the greatest gifts is identifying the root causes of the conflict. Once this painful period is overcome, both people learn to see each other as allies and help each other, so that their hurts can be understood. This wouldn't be possible without disillusionment.
Phase 5: Using the Power of Two to Change the World
At this stage, differences and doubts have been completely overcome. There is trust and companionship, and these characteristics are solidified. This way, both can have a positive impact on the world based on what they have built. The power of both can be directed toward a life together.
